Carrying on from my last blog, I will continue with the work theme.

As we know I work for a rather liberal and very well respected newspaper. As such I am endlessly supported with group activities that help nurcher, invigorate and energise me as an employee.

One of these tasks I gladly took up yesterday, was a day in a think tank! My enthusiasm was somewhat marred as this was disappointingly not a tank I can control with my mind and use to invade France, but a day discussing the future of the company and how we as individuals can realise its potential, make our lives richer, happier, whilst practicing good work life balance (photo copier v.s muesli consumption) in the process.

Sitting back in the large circle of chairs, faced with an array of my fellow sandal wearing, comb dodging yogurt knitting colleagues, I settled into my Wednesday with high hopes and unbridled enthusiasm of the tasks ahead! Being already well versed in such proceedings, I knew my day would consist of massaging and motivating a host of lovely liberal leftie ideas, ideals, and inspirations! I was in my element! We discussed the impending doom of recession, how we could save the economy with a hard and fast Yoga work out.. why Gordon is fucked.. who the MD would invite to dinner, dead, alive or fictional, And then, we got down to the good stuff!

Our illustrious leader raised from his chair to tell us “right we are now going to discuss Hot spots” at which with the lightening speed of a tourette stricken Barrymore, I blurted out.. “what’s a hot spot not” which received the loving reply from the group.. “a good spot” this was a good start.

From here we were tasked to come up with ideas. Not just any ideas but ideas from the very depths of our biodegradable, recyclable, allotment loving souls! The following is an idea that I was actually a part of, and one of which I am extremely proud to call myself a tiny cog of, and to think of as a large world changing machine!

We were split into small groups, divided and conquered with the view to get down and dirty in the understanding of the fluffy underbelly of a mountain goat world that makes up the fabric of our organisation. The title of our task was quite simple “Imagine if!!” After much debate, and me being told to shut up about marketing my show, we stretched ourselves into the ether, and pushed into the hot humid afternoon with hope radiating from our hearts, a glint in our eye and thoughts being transmitted from our hair as if they were aerials! Our auras were startling!!

The title of our response was earth shattering! “I child.. I learn” It was becoming increasing clear that some of my colleagues had been smoking far too many josh sticks over lunch which meant our take on “I think therefore I am” had come out a little squew wiff, but none the less the incense high had left them with a view to saving the world, starting with its children!! I was inspired!

The plan being that every child in the world gets a laptop (now just stop and think of the scale of such a task!!! China for instance fair few kiddie winks over there!!) each lap top would hold my companies learning programme which would be updated be downloadable, and probably at some point involve bookface.(Its actually a very comprehensive package which I can't write too much about) enabling us to teach the future of tomorrow!! We very nearly stood up and sang “we are the world.. we are the children” .. it was a tear jerking moment.

As the rest of the larger group imagined what it would be like if everyone made mini allotments in their hair and provided underprivileged children its fruit and carrots in place of turkey twizzlers for school dinners, my group prepared to announce our plans of world domination! Flip chats flipped, marker pens marked, and then we delivered!! Needless to say the entire company loved it, and we rode high on the intoxicating rush of saving the world through well thought out heartfelt gibberish

(there was also something about us launching a TV channel, which in fairness was actually a sensible idea, but I wasn't a part of that so have snubbed it from my mind)

As the dust settles and Thursday draws into the afternoon comedown, I am rather pleased that I can sit in my comfy, well positioned, health and safety conscious, back supporting chair and realise the dream / vision, that soon the entire world's children will be gently brainwashed/shampooed by my lovely liberal organisation, much like a piper in long slippers dancing his way across the globe peddling his liberal thoughts of excellence, with a chain of children dancing in earnest.

I have requested we start in Romford!

Buy stocks in sandals People!! The revolution is coming!!